Christmas Light Wars

Every neighborhood has one.

One house where the “spirit of the season” means enough Christmas lights to illuminate a small city. Often added into this gaudy display are the plastic Santa’s and fake reindeer (nice touch if actually on the roof). Of course, there are elves, giant candy canes, wrapped presents, etc.

If there is even a hint of religious fervor, there could be a Nativity scene wedged in between the flashing-nose Rudolph and the inflatable snow-globe contraptions that have become so popular.

Nice.

The kids love these displays—and so do many adults, evidenced by the parking problems caused by traffic in otherwise quiet neighborhoods when folks descend like locusts to “oooh and ahhh”.

Don’t call me a Grinch—I secretly enjoy the fruits of the labor of these crazy people who risk life and limb stringing lights off the highest places on their homes. I stare in wonder as I try to fathom which chromosome aberration causes the desire to have their homes be visible from outer space.

Forget the cost of the lights themselves. Think of the electricity they are burning through! Maybe a spotlight on the spinning meter outside the house would make for another riveting sight!

More intriguing than the isolated homes with staggering displays are those neighborhoods where it has clearly become a competition. Otherwise sane people somehow crack under the holiday pressure to “out-do” the next-door neighbor. Like the U.S and the Soviet Union during the Cold War, the acquisition and deployment of Christmas decorations escalates to a level that threatens to take out the nearest power grid.

Checkout these two quick videos of rather EXTENSIVE displays:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8AUsmse15o



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0s3sQt-mmA


Used as the grist for comedy (“Christmas Vacation” with the Griswolds) and TV commercials (Audi spot running now, where the owner of a pair of Audis outshines his warring neighbors and their Xmas displays), the dynamic of grown men stooping to this childish “one-upsmanship” would be funnier if it weren’t so pathetic.

Some of the more involved practitioners actually set their flashing displays to music-broadcast on low power FM transmitters that allow gawkers to listen on their car radios as they gape.

As for me, one or two strings of pretty lights convey my acknowledgment of the season and my “Christmas spirit”.

And, unlike my overzealous neighbors, I will be able to pay my power bill in January.

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