Memorial Day Is More Than A Day Off Work

The following is an ENCORE Tim Moore blog, with fresh video and updated:


Each Memorial Day, I think about how the REASON for the holiday is largely lost in the chaos of cookouts with hamburgers and hotdogs, going to the beach, drinking and watching sports-either in person or on TV. The same thing happens on the Fourth of July.

Freedom is not free-and has never been. From the start of the United States “grand experiment”, untold tens of thousands (millions perhaps?) have given their lives to defend that freedom, almost all of the time on foreign shores. Many more have been scarred, either physically, emotionally-or both.

Most of them were kids at the time. My oldest son is 21—and I cannot imagine him going off to fight in Iraq, Afganistan, the beaches of Normandy or the South Pacific. Yet, fathers and mothers throughout our history have sent their sons and daughters off to war---many to never see them again.

I will refrain from a blog on Monday, but will honor our fallen heroes TODAY—in advance of the “holiday”—in hopes that all who read this will rekindle an appreciation for the sacrifices made by our sons and daughters throughout our history.

Take a moment to quietly thank them for making what was often the ultimate sacrifice. Our country has many flaws-and many challenges. Despite it all, we still are priviliged to live in a country where true freedom exists—no where else on the planet are human beings so free to choose their own destiny.

Watch the Memorial Day clip below—and give honor and remembrance to our fallen heroes.



http://www.949whom.com/goout.asp?u=http://TimMooreat949WHOM.blogspot.com

Again this year, 94.9 WHOM has made the decision to NOT put the station vehicle in the Portland Memorial Day Parade. This was the subject of a separate blog last year---and the response we received supported our view that “promoting” a radio station is both crass and self-serving in a parade meant to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

We DO show up at Fourth of July parades—and maybe this is inappropriate as well, but the 4th to me is more a celebration of freedom than the more reflective role of Memorial Day. The WHOM Tahoe will not be taking part---not because we don’t honor our heroes (and some people did believe we should have been there last year, that our participation was in and of itself a kind of tribute). We just feel that our DJs and the station in general shouldn’t take the focus away from the veterans, the police and fire personnel—those who are our true heroes.

I would welcome your feedback on this decision. E-mail me at tim.moore@citcomm.com
If you would like to receive my weekday blog via e-mail, that’s the address as well. Have a safe and relaxing holiday weekend!

God Bless The U.S.A!

American Idle

Some 24 million people watched “American Idol” on Fox last night to see Lee DeWyze take the crown.

I was not one of them.

Don’t get me wrong—I have nothing against the show….it’s just that after a few years, the thrill is gone. I cannot motivate myself to make that “appointment” each week. And, since I am living in the STONE AGE (no DVR or TIVO), I would have to actually program my VCR in order to capture each week’s episode. Too much work.

Not that Fox missed me. Despite heavy press coverage of the show’s ratings slipping, it remained #1 in its time slot—dominating as always. It’s just that the combination of Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest were too much for my constitution to handle on a weekly basis. I’m a “24” fan—watching Jack Bauer save the world in a day is more compelling, although I have dabbled at being an “Idol” regular. I just couldn’t sustain it.

I COMPLETELY missed the first season, when Kelly Clarkson won. That she outgrew the “Idol” association is a credit to her talent and her ability to define herself as more than the “original” winner of a TV competition series.

I watched the year that Carrie Underwood won. It was interesting to chart the progress of each contestant each week and I actually knew the names of all the finalists (although they escape me today) Along with Clarkson, these two champions have made the most of their victory. My favorite non-winner is Chris Daughtry, who has gone the farthest (yes, “Claymates”, even farther than Clay Aiken) without picking up the crown.

“American Idol” is really TWO shows: the audition part of the season where it seems that making fun of people with zero talent is the order of the day. There are people I know who faithfully watch to see who’s “going to Hollywood!”—and then cease once the final group is assembled for the real competition. Others eschew the audition period—claiming that the really bad singers are “plants” (I agree) and that the criticism is rather mean-spirited (again, I agree)

Of course, there are the huge numbers of viewers who drink it all in, loving every minute of it. These are the same people who actually SPEND MONEY to text in their votes. I would love to know how much money has been generated by AT&T and Fox through the texting part alone. Staggering, I’m sure.

Simon made his farewell last night—and perhaps more people tuned in to see that—than to find out if Lee or Crystal would win. Ellen DeGeneres over Paula Abdul was an upgrade in my book, but replacing Simon will be nearly impossible. I wouldn’t want to be the celebrity to step into those shoes. Howard Stern was rumored to be a candidate. He passes the acid test for acidity, but little else. Madonna has also been in the conversation. Not a good career move, in my estimation.

Here’s clip from last night:





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RtCLznOgmg


The hardest thing to do is pull the plug on a successful series. It was done with “Seinfeld”, with M*A*S*H and many other dramatic shows where the writers simply exhausted themselves of plot lines. With something that is truly a “reality show”—relatively cheap to produce and infinitely profitable—it’s gotta be hard to say “see ya!”

Maybe a “Simon-less” season will make the decision for Fox. I kind of hope NOT, since “American Idol” produces so many stars and hit songs for radio stations like 94.9 WHOM…regardless of my lack of viewership, I’d like to see it go on forever!


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The Speed Of Sound

Note: Below is an encore edition of the Tim Moore Blog:

As a radio guy, I am fascinated by sound—and by the physics of how sound travels.

On my show, my voice travels from the microphone into the studio equipment-from there, it journeys several stories to the top of our building at One City Center in Portland.

From there, it enters a microwave system that sends all of the audio-voice and music on 94.9 WHOM to the summit of Mt. Washington, nearly 80 miles away (as the crow flies)-this, after having broken done the analog signal into a digital stream.

At the summit, the signal is received, converted again and sent to the transmitter, which then feeds an antenna system that allows all of WHOM’s programming to be heard on radios throughout Northern New England. The time between when a word is spoken and can then be heard on the air is virtually INSTANTANEOUS. In fact, the greatest delay results from the analog to digital to analog conversion processes- and not the distance that is traveled.

Of course, many radio stations use a “delay” system on purpose—it allows someone to delete objectionable content before it is broadcast. Here at 94.9 WHOM, we generally don’t have to worry about one of our DJ’s uttering a forbidden word. Callers are recorded, so there is no chance of listeners offending the audience either.

Enjoy the short video about the sound barrier—incredible how a jet breaking that speed of sound not only emits a “sonic boom”—but also a VISIBLE phenomenon that is nothing short of spectacular!




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d9A2oq1N38

Some of us DJ’s talk fast, but I don’t think any of us will break the sound barrier anytime soon!

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Have a terrific day!!

Star Wars Phenomenon Begins

Let me state right up front that I am not a Star Wars fan.

I have nothing against the original or the four thousand sequels, but I can also say that I am the only person on earth (save for a few members of an Aborigine tribe) that have never seen the original movie.

Really.

I have seen parts of it—as my kids are fans. It’s just that I never got the freaky desire to assimilate all things Star Wars into my life. No Star Wars bed sheets, action figures, light sabers…none of it.

That said, I am fully aware of the impact of the movie on our popular culture—and admire George Lucas for his creativity, his vision for special effects—and his uncanny ability to, as they say, “monetize” the whole concept into an industry whose dollar value is no doubt more than the GDP of many small countries. The movies alone--$461 million in U.S. ticket sales, $800 million worldwide—WITHOUT all the stuff that ironclad licensing has parlayed into untold millions in additional revenue.

Although tame by today’s standards, the special effects were groundbreaking for 1977—as today was the opening day of the 20th Century Fox blockbuster.

I cam across a documentary of the making of “Star Wars”---so for all you crazy fans, this 7-part video series is required viewing. For people like me, it is still a fascinating look at a pop culture phenomenon that, 33 years later—still hasn’t subsided.

Check it out:

Segment 1



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVYsy5CX8rk&feature=related

Segment 2



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rOQ_ALsN0&feature=related

Segment 3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykJ0tOXj0Bk&feature=related

Segment 4



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5UncEzpf2s&feature=related


Segment 5



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7Yu_gRTO1I&feature=related


Segment 6



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=si-K4jR2VEM&feature=related


Segment 7



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G87jhIeTk0w&feature=related


May the force be with you!!!!

May my blog be with you—weekdays! It’s free…just let me know and I’ll add you to the e-mail list: tim.moore@citcomm.com

An Oily Mess

PLEASE stop the finger pointing!

As barrels and barrels of oil spew into the Gulf of Mexico continuously, it seems that more energy is now being expended on the CYA strategy (“Cover Your Ass”). Amid comparisons to the Federal government’s response to Katrina, the focus of the rhetoric is centered squarely on WHO IS DOING WHAT.

This means that task forces are being formed, meetings are being scheduled and officials are flocking to the scene to “monitor” the situation.

Please.

Most ludicrous of all is the assertion that the U.S. Government should “take over” the efforts to stop the spill from BP, the company that is ultimately responsible for this environmental disaster. And yes, despite Rush Limbaugh’s claim that the effects are being overblown, that “oil is natural, so Mother Nature can handle it” (idiotic), this is truly an undeniable catastrophe of dimensions that may only be calculated decades from now.

The best thing to do is to keep the U.S. government AWAY from the efforts to plug the hole and instead focus on relief for the wildlife and adverse human effects of this spill. Short of putting ANOTHER oil company in charge of the efforts, the Feds have no equipment and zero experience in dealing with the complexities of this catastrophe. While BP only subcontracted for the company that actually caused the accident, they are squarely “on the hook” for all costs associated with the cleanup.

As a “for profit” corporation, this makes them supremely motivated to move as quickly as possible. That said, I am not suggesting that the U.S. Government disengage from the effort. I’m just saying that ANY actions by our government should not include posturing, public relations or “spin”.

If the American public is stupid enough to actually blame the Obama administration for the spill---or the failed efforts to stop it, then so be it. Elect some Republicans who no doubt would have somehow stopped that leak sooner. Right.

Criticism of the Katrina response was warranted—and the Obama administration is likewise fair game for anything that can be done ON LAND. Wasting time by diverting the efforts to stop the leak offshore into “photo ops” onshore are a sub-disaster. The Democrats are already being baited into this trap—and may be taking the bait. Stupid.

There will be plenty of time to point fingers later—after the leak has been plugged. Until that time, we need to leave the experts alone to focus on the task at hand. While the general public cannot understand why no one has used the nearly one million pounds of human and pet hair that have been donated nationwide to soak up the oil, I can only guess that this possibility has been considered—and was either rejected or delayed for a reason.

My infantile “solution” would have been to drop a “boom” or floating line a mile around the epicenter of the spill—i.e. why isn’t the containment in close proximity to the source? But then, I am completely ignorant of the issues involved.

The experts work for the oil companies—and even though they are being vilified, they too are concerned—and are the most qualified—and motivated to stop the oil from spewing. Screaming into their collective ears while they try to do their job (as satisfying as that may be to the screamers) does nothing to advance the goal—it delays it.

This spill will be political fodder for years to come—and the livelihoods of those poor people on the coast who have barely recovered from Katrina have been ruined. The loss of animal and plant life will be staggering—and no amount of rhetoric will make things better.

It’s time to come together, solve the problems----and then afterwards, exact whatever advantage you wish to. At least then, your efforts to exploit a disaster for political gain won’t exacerbate the disaster itself by delaying its resolution.

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Chuck Berry Records A Classic

Today was a momentous day in the history of Rock and Roll!

The year was 1955—and music was in transition. Conflicting cultures were evident —the so-called “black music” was starting to go mainstream and attract white audiences. Elvis, Bill Haley and the Comets---and the man who would himself become synonymous with Rock & Roll….Chuck Berry!

The smash hit “Maybellene” was recorded on this date in ’55. Completely unknown at the time, this part-time professional musician from St. Louis paid his first visit to a recording studio and laid down the song that would make him famous.

While visiting Chicago, Berry approached the iconic blues musician Muddy Waters to ask for some career advice. Waters sent him to his label, Chess Records, where Chuck Berry managed to get a meeting with Leonard Chess—and a promise to audition the following week.

Hoping to impress Chess with his blues, the song that caught Chess’ ear was a rhythm and blues, country and western hybrid called “Ida Red”—renamed, “Maybellene”.

Berry, unsure of what would become of his session---returned to St. Louis. Popular DJ Alan Freed (the man credited with coining the term “rock & roll”) was given co-songwriting credit and a third of the royalties—IF he would promote it. The “payola” scandal would curtail practices like these in the future, but back then, it was commonplace. Freed played the song for two hours straight on his WINS radio show.

Meanwhile, Berry was planning on becoming a hairdresser (yes, a hairdresser)—when “Maybellene” hit the charts…it became a #1 R&B hit and #5 on the Pop charts. Needless to say, Chuck Berry made the right decision to put down the scissors and head in another career path!

Check out this video of Chuck Berry, performing that hit before a studio audience. Hilarious to watch how SEDATE the audience is while Berry scampers around and wails on the guitar-check it out:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y3-NSalpKI

“Maybellene” was the first Rock and Roll single by a black performer. Still kickin’ it at the ripe old age of 84, Chuck Berry is an American icon.

John Lennon once said that “if you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it ‘Chuck Berry’”

How true.

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Wedding Party takes The Plunge!

Let’s take stock of recent events…

OK, there’s the HUGE oil spill that has been spewing for weeks—the full effect of which has yet to be felt. Mixed results for incumbents in the recent primaries. Thailand in chaos. That volcano in Iceland is still causing flight cancellations in Europe. The economy still struggling to get out of recession and joblessness still high.

I need a laugh.

This one is OK since it appears that no one was injured.
Making its way across the web, what was supposed to be a special photo op for a wedding party on the coast turned into a rather damp experience.

Watch:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZfNvS2mCWk

While we can only guess at the bride and groom’s reaction to this incident, one thing is certain. It really doesn’t matter how beautiful the ceremony was. No one will recall what the bride wore or how the bridesmaids were gussied up. The vows may have been breathtaking and the food at the reception might have been outstanding.

No, this wedding will forever be defined by what happened on the dock.

Some will no doubt say that this episode is an omen. For some, it may be a test of the newly married couple’s ability to cope with adversity. For others, it may just be a bad omen for the prospects of the marriage itself. The superstitious have already drawn their conclusions—and only time will tell.

My hope is that the newlyweds took it in stride and will be telling the story for decades to come, perhaps with their grandchildren on their knee.

It’s no surprise that many funny wedding moments on video exist—but most of them are in a church at the critical moments. The tension is high, the emotions running rampant. Dropping the ring, the groom passing out, the bride tripping on her train. All of this is understandable. What makes this video stand out is that the ceremony clearly appears to be over—and everyone is relaxed and jovial.

And then all hell breaks loose.

Hope your special day didn’t include anything as…wet. If you have a funny story of your wedding to share—feel free to do so in the comments section here—if you’d like to receive this blog weekdays via e-mail, just let me know: tim.moore@citcomm.com

The President of....New Hampshire?

It was on this date in 1795 that New Hampshire patriot Josiah Bartlett passed away.

An original signer of the Declaration of Independence—immediately after John Hancock placed his huge signature on the document, Bartlett was truly one of the Founding Fathers, a man who was, for a time—The President of New Hampshire!

That title was eventually changed to Governor, but Bartlett’s place in history was assured in so many other ways. A delegate to the Continental Congress for New Hampshire, Bartlett later served as Chief Justice for the New Hampshire Supreme Court.

Originally born in Massachusetts, Bartlett was a trained physician and in 1750 moved to Kingston, New Hampshire to begin his practice. He married his cousin Mary Bartlett in 1754 (who conveniently didn’t have to change her name!) Over the years, they would have twelve children! All three of his sons and seven of his grandsons who also become doctors.

Below is a video of the auction of his personal belongings-courtesy of New Hampshire Public Television. It is a fascinating look at an amazing life:




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4XqNGW0994


Of course, those outside of Northern New England will recognize the name Josiah Bartlett for another reason. TV producer Aaron Sorkin co-opted the name for the Martin Sheen’s character in the hit series “The West Wing”. A distant relative of the historical Bartlett, Martin did his namesake proud in the way he conducted himself in “office”-even if it was only a TV show-here is a lighter moment from “The West Wing”:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TcGEcKjSu4&feature=related

As we dismiss most of today’s politicians and leaders as shallow, self-serving pawns of special interests, it’s comforting to know that America had some true patriots—and although each of them might have looked as flawed if viewed under today’s unforgiving media glare, a public servant’s entire resume must be considered when history makes its judgment.

The totality of Josiah Bartlett’s life is that of a true American patriot.


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Tea Party Is Directionless Frustration

I’m no expert on the so-called “Tea Party” movement, but those who align it with the Republican Party are misguided, I think.

From what I’ve seen, the Tea Party movement is party-neutral. Since fiscal conservatism and strict adherence to the U.S. Constitution-literally interpreted –as well as support for state’s rights are a cornerstone of the mantra, the vast majority of Tea Party “members” are probably Republicans.

Many of them, however, are disenfranchised GOP people who are looking for anything that they can align themselves with and be enthusiastic about. Nothing happening out there right now speaks to them-from either party.

Incumbents in both parties are being targeted for ejection from their seats. Maybe this is all well and good. After all, they are the problem, no? They are all corrupt, no?

I Google’d “Tea Party” to find a platform—an uniform set of beliefs that would somehow define what this “movement” stood for. What I uncovered was a fair amount of contradicting beliefs, alignments, goals and aspirations.

So, is that a “movement”? Or is it merely an umbrella term for “throw the bums out”?

The closest thing to a Tea Party Manifesto was the so-called “Contract With America”, listing ten points:

1) IDENTIFY THE CONSTITUTIONALITY OF EVERY NEW LAW- I think that this is already done when drafting legislation. While implying that recent laws violate the Constitution, no law is drafted without undergoing a “vetting” process for constitutionality. If laws passed do indeed cross the line, they will be challenged in court. In short, this is a largely useless “objective”—as it is already in place.

2) REJECT EMISSIONS TRADING- Stop “Cap and Trade” I don’t know enough on this to offer an informed opinion. I wonder how many Tea Party people are versed in the pros and cons of this approach. Hmmm.


3) DEMAND A BALANCED FEDERAL BUDGET- Great concept, but at least one of a couple of distasteful scenarios appear. To accomplish this objective, Congress must either a) raise taxes (which I think violates #10 below), b) reduce entitlements like Social Security (which I’m thinking won’t be popular with the Tea Party crowd, many of whom are collecting same) and/or c) permanently stop the practice of prosecuting wars (like Bush did) without actually accounting for the cost within the budget framework. President Obama has at least made the accounting for war transparent, placing it in the Federal Budget where it belongs. Previous Presidents conveniently leaving it “out of the budget” didn’t mean we weren’t deficit spending. OK, Tea Party people—which will it be?

4) SIMPLIFY THE TAX SYSTEM- I am completely on board here. Complexity of the U.S. Tax code favors the wealthy, who use their accountants to evade taxes by using loopholes that ongoing rulemaking means to close—and yet, ends up having the opposite effect. In fact, I support the “consumption tax” proposed by then presidential candidate Huckabee.


5) AUDIT FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AGENGIES FOR CONSTITUTIONALITY- This advocates creating ANOTHER bureaucracy-a so-called “blue ribbon commission” (are you SERIOUS?) that puts everything the Federal government does under the microscope. I could support this if I felt it could root out waste, inefficiencies and have teeth. How many “blue ribbon commissions” have the force of law? Zero, maybe?

6) LIMIT ANNUAL GROWTH IN FEDERAL SPENDING-Again, a great concept. This strives to limit the growth to the inflation rate plus the percentage of population growth. A worthy goal-perhaps attainable.


7) REPEAL THE HEALTH CARE LEGISLATION- Not only unrealistic, but regardless of the claims of “government takeover” of healthcare, to say so is factually incorrect. The free market system was simply not working—mostly because the medical ethic of NEVER DENYING CARE to those without insurance only meant that this cost was ALWAYS shifted to those who DID have insurance—and did so at a much higher cost, as a disproportionately high number of these uninsured patients received their care through the avenue of the local Emergency Room—the highest cost possible. The independent GAO determined that the Health Plan as passed was not only “deficit neutral” as was proposed, but would actually reduce the Federal deficit. Time will obviously tell, but all evidence points to this legislation as being both fiscally and socially positive over the long run. In short, don’t make as an “objective” the repeal of something that could not be defeated politically as legislation. Removing an existing law-one that benefits millions of Americans—will be nearly impossible. When the Tea Party controls both houses of Congress AND the White House, then we’ll talk.

8) PASS AN “ALL OF THE ABOVE” ENERGY POLICY- Authorize the exploration of additional energy reserves to reduce American dependence on foreign energy sources. Reduce regulatory barriers. With the exception of that last sentence (given the ongoing oil spill in the Gulf), I think we can all agree on this point. How we arrive at this objective will differ. I’m assuming that Federal tax incentives to invest in such alternate energy projects would be agreeable to all, but am I right?

9) REDUCE EARMARKS- Place a moratorium on ALL earmarks until the budget is balanced—and then require a 2/3 majority to pass any earmark. I can agree with this, but as a percentage of the Federal Budget, all earmarks together comprise such a small percentage of the total amount spent—that it is largely window-dressing. When our local Congressman or woman scores Federal funding for a local project, he or she is hailed as a hero at home—those not benefiting from it (in other states) call it “pork”. The ability to deliver pork to the home folks is a prerequisite for re-election. In short, we love OUR pork, hate the pork of others.

10) REDUCE TAXES- “Permanently” repeal all recent tax increases, including those to the income tax, capital gains tax and estate taxes. Again, who ISN’T in favor of decreasing taxes? I am. You are. The problem is that such consensus evaporates when discussing which programs go away.


So, there you have it. Ten goals, of which maybe only 3 or 4 have a realistic chance of achievability---even among Tea Party “members”—who could not be counted upon to agree on the so-called “tough choices” they advocate for. No consensus? Gridlock? What happens on Capital Hill may be a reflection of the lack of the same in our population.

When considering the hacking of Federal Programs, let’s “do away” with the following big wasters of cash—your cash:

1) SOCIAL SECURITY- Here is the biggest waste. Who cares if Grandma cannot support herself now? Let’s slice that entitlement in half. After all, the extended families that are such a part of other cultures are a social benefit, no? Granny will move in with you and your family.
And if she becomes homeless, there must be SOME government program that will provide for her, no?

2) MEDICAID- Wrought with fraud and waste, this too should be on the chopping block. Our refusal to deny medical care will simply move these costs, many of which constitute nursing home care—to the consumer in the form of even higher health insurance costs. But hey, it’s a free market system—and the capitalistic way to solve the problem, no?


3) ELIMINATE THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION- No barriers to keep companies from bringing drugs to market. Without all that pesky testing for safety, not only do we eliminate a huge bureaucracy, but maybe drug prices will go down as the pharmaceutical companies will not need to spend nearly as much to bring a drug to market. The tens of thousands who may die as a result of using untested drugs are merely the collateral damage that any free capitalistic society must endure.

4) ELIMINATE THE CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION- Like the FDA, think of the savings! We’ll be able to increase our imports of dangerous Chinese goods without the threat of federal intervention. In fact, we’ll be able to make our own dangerous goods right here in the U.S.A.!


5) ELIMINATE THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY!- Repeal those oppressive laws that restrict companies from dumping raw sewage into our water and carcinogens into our air and soil. These laws seriously diminish the profitability of these job-creating industries.

6) ELIMINATE THE FAA- Without the stringent regulations that require companies to perform regular safety checks on their airplanes and restrict a pilot’s flying time, maybe the airlines will become profitable again!


7) ELIMINATE THE SEC- Hey, we don’t want to further burden the Wall Street companies that almost brought us to the brink, so why not wipe out ALL consumer protection with regard to investments? Publicly held companies that need not publish a prospectus or adhere to accounting principles that guarantee the viability of their businesses to prospective investors will be able to raise a lot more capital.

8) ELIMINATE OSHA- Worker safety on the job is over-rated. Companies have the best interests of their employees at heart anyway, right? Think of the savings!


Those are just a few—I could go on! Who needs all that oversight, all that regulation?


In our justified frustration, let’s be careful not to demonize everything that smacks of government. Let’s not paint the scene with so broad a brushstroke that we lose sight of what life could be like WITHOUT these awful services that are paid by our taxes.

Excesses? Absolutely.
Inefficiencies? Without a doubt.

Sheer indignation and a “throw the bums out” mentality without some thought to whatever their replacements COULD accomplish is immature and unrealistic.

It’s often said that the government we have is the one we deserve. Be careful what you wish for. Just as there is “no free lunch”, there is a consequence to all attempts to achieve the objectives that we say we want.

Sacrifice—and in some cases, profound sacrifice is the only alternative. And, no matter the candidate, promising “shared sacrifice” never got anyone elected—even a Tea Party candidate.


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The F.B.I. Investigates "Louie Louie"

In perhaps the most hilarious and ludicrous use of taxpayer money ever, the Federal Bureau of Investigation made it’s official determination on the supposed “dirty” lyrics of the song “Louie Louie” on this date in 1965.

Their findings?

The FBI Laboratory declared the lyrics to be: “officially unintelligible”.

Now, that’s damn funny!

Prompted by an outcry from parents across the country who felt the lyrics were obscene, the FBI was called in to use their sophisticated audio technology to completely dissect the Kingsmen’s hit song. Like a typical government agency, this “investigation” took TWO YEARS to complete! The FBI gathered as many versions of the song as possible. They interviewed Richard Berry, the man who wrote the song in 1955. They played each version of the record at 33rpm, 45rpm and even 78rpm to see if at each speed, somehow the filthy lyrics would make themselves known. “Unintelligible at any speed” was the official conclusion, as an anxious world breathed a sigh of relief!

Starting as a rumor, the momentum picked up as letters were being received by the U.S. Department of Justice. One letter, addressed to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy stated, “Who do you turn to when your teenage daughter buys and brings home pornographic or obscene materials being sold in every city, village and record shop in this nation?” The letter went on to say, “the lyrics are so filthy, that I cannot enclose them in this letter”. Perhaps because this parent didn’t even know what they were RUMORED to be!

Here is a video of the Kingsmen performing their hit song “Louie Louie” on the popular TV show, “Shindig!”. See if you can pick up an obscenity:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cec1JInytH0&feature=related

How’d ya do?

The song was written about a Jamaican sailor who returns to port to see his lady love. Beyond that, who knows? By the way, although many versions are listed as “Louie, Louie”, songwriter Berry says there is no “comma” in his composition.

It was banned on many radio stations after complaints poured in to station management, including Indiana, where the Governor officially prohibited stations from airing it. Another version of the song was released by Paul Revere & The Raiders—recorded in the same studio as the Kingsmen—and it was originally the bigger hit. That is, until Boston DJ Arnie “Woo Woo” Ginsberg featured the Kingsmen’s version as his “Worst Record Of The Week”. Despite this designation, the response to its airing was huge—and the song took off regionally—and then nationally. The tune has been covered hundreds of times, most notably by the Beach Boys and The Who.

Rolling Stone magazine listed Louie Louie as #55 on their list of the “500 Greatest Songs Of All Time”!

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Sinatra's Bucket List Checked Off

Ever since the movie “The Bucket List” came out, the notion of a “list of things to do before you die” has become fashionable. The subject of several books—even distilled down to regions (the “Boston Bucket List” includes a trip to Fenway), the idea makes sense.

Namely, in the crush of daily activity, a veritable lifetime can pass you by without your involvement or participation in activities that seemed a sure thing when you were young. Perhaps it's the realization that our eventual exit is a day closer with every setting sun—and that motivation rearranges our priorities.

Most of us will never check off all the items on our personal “bucket list”.

Not so Frank Sinatra.

If ever there was a human life that was crammed with just about every adventure, it is that of the so-called Chairman Of the Board.

Regardless of your feelings towards the man, who inspires all manner of emotions, from wildly positive to outright hatred to fear, there is little argument that ol’ Blue Eyes pretty much did it all.

Far from perfect, he was as flawed as the rest of us—only in a bigger way. I read Kitty Kelley’s unauthorized biography of Sinatra a few years ago. I am a fan—and yet I can see why he was loathed by many. If nothing else, you have to admire the man’s stamina.

From humble beginnings, he rose to become a teen idol, a musical icon and then transitioned that talent into an acting career that also made him a movie star. He was a man’s man….most definitely a lady’s man---and led a life that was unequalled for its excess, it’s interaction with every movie star, politician, world leader and, of course, leaders in the underworld where so much of his reputation would come from.

Sinatra died on this date in 1998. No song captures the scope of living as does “My Way”, a tune that Sinatra once said that he didn’t particularly care for. Here is a video version scrapbook of Sinatra’s life—set to that iconic tune:




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6ya7ZRlrEo

In the end, there was very little that he DIDN’T do…and if he didn’t, it was because he didn’t WANT to.

He did it HIS WAY.

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Tommy James & The Shondells & The Mob

I just finished reading a terrific book about 1960’s pop icon Tommy James last night.

Entitled, “Me, The Mob And The Music”, it is a chronicle of the career of James, originally born Tommy Jackson in Dayton, Ohio. Mind you, this is not great literature—and like the autobiography of David Foster, there is a fair amount of self-inflation throughout. But, to the credit of James and his ghost writer Martin Fitzpatrick, it is also an honest look into both the successes and personal failures of a man whose music helped define a generation.

After a relatively brief look into Tommy’s early life growing up in Niles, Michigan, the main thrust of the book centers around his relationship with Roulette Records owner Morris Levy, who apparently earned the nickname, “The Godfather of the Music Business”.

After breakout regional success in Pennsylvania with the song “Hanky Panky”, James was courted by every major record label in New York. After receiving offers from all of them, James was dumbfounded when, within 24 hours, all of the offers were rescinded---all but one.

That solitary offer came from Roulette. After Morris Levy personally threatened every other label, stating in no uncertain terms that Tommy James & The Shondells “belonged” to him, James had little choice but to sign with Roulette. Little more than a front for the mob, involved heavily with the organized crime “families” in New York , Roulette was not prepared for the magnitude of Tommy James’s rising star. Instead of a record label used as a shell entity for bootlegging of records, cutouts and goodness knows what else, all of a sudden, Levy had a label with REAL hit records.

And despite an ever-increasing drug habit, Tommy James and the Shondells kept cranking out the hits.

Check out the two videos below. Here is a vintage look at an early Tommy James, singing that first huge hit “Hanky Panky”. The second is a slide show of sorts, with photos of Tommy James’s career—with a live version of “Crystal Blue Persuasion” as the sound track:





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRXe_e5S1Y&feature=related




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPhANtc7WFQ


“Crystal Blue Persuasion” is my all-time favorite Tommy James hit, although I do love to listen to many of his songs from time to time. Each transports me back to a specific time in my life—with all the attendant memories, both joyful—and painful. Artists like Tommy James, The Beatles, The Stones—and a host of others—are the reason I chose the crazy career of radio.

My experience with Tommy James was in listening to him nonstop on the radio—AM giants like WEAM and WPGC in Washington, D.C. Purchasing his 45rpm records, with the distinctive Roulette label, I had no idea of the illegal activities, the intimidation and the deception that were part and parcel of Morris Levy and his business. No one outside the music business—and the IRS—did.

Without radio airplay, Tommy James would never have seen the light of day—and it seems reasonable that at least SOME of that airplay was literally bought and paid for. My guess is that Tommy James himself was probably unaware that much of his music got its initial exposure due to cash and/or threats rather than any song’s merits. Regardless, once exposed, there was no question of the public’s love of Tommy James and The Shondells.

The cash register rang nonstop.

What is also clear is that James was never compensated by his label for the millions he earned in sales. Despite income from touring, endorsements and merchandise, Tommy James literally had to beg for the money he was owed by his label. When his attorney calculated the actual sales—a difficult thing to do, given that Levy kept such matters away from his artists, it was clear that Levy owed Tommy James between 30 and 40 MILLION DOLLARS!

The attorney used an ingenious method to arrive at that figure. He went directly to the ONE factory that Roulette used to print labels for the singles and albums. That company kept meticulous records—and since different colors were used for “promo” or DJ copies, the lawyer was able to get a very accurate estimate for the actual records that were pressed and sold.

When confronted with these figures, Morris Levy exploded and threatened to murder the attorney and his family.

That was that.

Levy was eventually arrested, tried and convicted on a host of charges, including racketeering and extortion.

As for Tommy James, his career waned after leaving Roulette. Changing times and changing musical tastes, coupled with the reluctance of competing labels to fully embrace Tommy James led to his departure from the pop charts.

Happily, the story has a positive ending. After several failed relationships and drug abuse, James entered the Betty Ford Clinic and came out a new man with a renewed faith. Royalties from covers of his hits, plus soundtrack usage and other forms of income have helped to make amends for a career that was largely uncompensated.

As Congress debates the idea of performance royalties to compensate artists—royalties that would come from broadcast radio, it would be good to review this case study as likely the tip of the iceberg. Artists—abused not by the radio stations that exposed their music and allowed them to sell millions of records and concert tickets—but rather by the companies which made untold millions on sales---and never adequately paid their artists.

But, I digress…that’s the subject of a future separate blog.

As for Tommy James, he is still around—and still making music. He may not be the “superstar” he once was, but no one can ever take away his lofty place in the annals of pop music history—a perch that he deserved—and one wonders how his career may have turned had he been tied to a legitimate label—and compensated fairly from the start.

If you are a fan of the music, of the era—or looking for a story that’s both entertaining and “educational” about the music business, pick up a copy of “Me, The Mob And The Music”.
Tommy James' Official Website is: http://www.tommyjames.com/


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Bob Dylan Stiffs Ed Sullivan

There are moments when an artist’s reputation is cemented—and such a moment occurred on this date in 1963, when Bob Dylan walked off the set of the Ed Sullivan Show.

This kind of thing just didn’t happen.

After all, Ed Sullivan had the biggest show in America. Get on his program and your career gets a steroid boost that would make Alex Rodriquez proud. The Beatles appearance on the show catapulted them to a superstardom the likes of which have never been matched.

To please the conservative host, bands were willing to sacrifice some of their “art” in order to expose themselves to a national audience. Some were unaware—like Elvis, who was shown only from the waist up. Others were complicit in their retreat—like the Rolling Stones, who changed the lyrics of “Let’s Spend The Night Together” into “Let’s Spend Some Time Together”. The Stones sold out.

Not Bob Dylan.

Far from a superstar at that point in his career, his music was still known by many and fans of Peter, Paul and Mary were aware that their hit “Blowin’ In The Wind” was penned by Dylan.

In advance of the release of his second album, “The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan”, he received the coveted invitation to perform on the Sullivan show.

That appearance never happened.

CBS informed Dylan that his song “Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues” could not be performed. Rather than sing another song----or change the lyrics, Dylan stormed off the set in protest.

The song, a satirical look at the hyper-conservative John Birch Society’s tendency to see a Communist plot in virtually everything—was too much for the network’s Standards and Practices Department. The funny thing was that Dylan had auditioned the song days earlier for Ed Sullivan himself without any objections being raised.

Check out this video of Dylan—performing live on a Canadian show that same year—rare footage for an artist who was extremely selective in his mass media offerings:




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXweUdZOrb8&feature=PlayList&p=57CC6CFDC0BBDDF5&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=7

The Ed Sullivan incident may have cost him the huge national audience that most artists crave, but it did help to fortify his image as an uncompromising artist—and thus, was probably worth it.

In the years since the walk-off, details have emerged that Dylan didn’t lose his temper or actually storm out. Sullivan’s producer, Bob Precht described Dylan as polite and respectful in declining to perform another song and in passing on the opportunity to appear on the show. Ed Sullivan himself denounced the network for their decision, a move that probably enhanced Sullivan’s image as well.

Just as Dylan, his lyrics, his music and all things related to the singer were raised to levels of deification that stretched the limits of rational believability, this incident solidified his “rep” as the coolest thing in music at the time---an image that has largely remained intact nearly 50 years later.


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Customer Service Has Gone the Way Of The Typewriter---Or Has It?

Remember the good’ol typewriter? Bulky but functional, it got the job done until Wang introduced the Word Processor. Market leader Smith-Corona responded with an electronic typewriter. In 1985, the company filed for bankruptcy.

Change is incessant (not just a campaign theme), and smart businesses and individuals need to scan the horizon for what is next. What’s the next big idea? What products and services that are dominant today will be replaced by technology tomorrow?

While the average person may not be able to predict future technological breakthroughs, I believe that a revolution in CUSTOMER SERVICE may be the next big competitive advantage. Since the customer is always a human being (and not likely to be replaced by a machine), why is it that so many companies have chosen to automate their interaction with the customer?

Websites are one thing. Allowing the public to access information instantly with little trouble is a good thing. Having a MACHINE answer your business line is another. Here at 94.9 WHOM, we often must put the Listener Lines to voicemail (since the DJ is on the air), BUT we answer ALL questions where a return phone number is left. Requests are also given due consideration.

Everyone has a horror story of being on infinite “HOLD”, being passed from one person to another (complete with goony music in between) and generally being treated like a pile of garbage. Promises broken, rude behavior and indifference to the customer is rotten now—and on the rise.

Customer service is not a lost art everywhere. Watch the short video—and entertaining story about a cab driver in Dallas who went above and beyond to make one customer happy-a practice that he clearly repeats with every single rider:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG48U5iPESA


Companies and individuals that become an example by TREASURING the customer and making that ideal a reality by their actions—will prosper in the years to come!

If I ever go back to Dallas, I hope that I am fortunate enough to get THAT cab driver—and regardless, he is an inspiration to everyone, no matter what their career. If a “lowly” taxi driver (and I say that only because no doubt many of their “important” businessmen and women view the job as such) can deliver that kind of customer service, all of us no have a bar to reach.

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Dumbed Down Thanks To YouTube

We only have 24 hours in day. Of that, if you’re lucky, 7 or 8 of those hours are spent blissfully snoozing away.

OK, that leaves 16 or so hours for everything else. The proliferation of all manner of electronic devices means that “entertaining” ourselves is not restricted to our “time off”. If it were, further subtraction would be necessary. We would take away 8 hours for work, an hour or two for eating meals, 2 hours for commuting and personal hygiene and would be left with about 3 or 4 hours of what I’ll call “discretionary time”.

In those hours, we could elect to read, watch TV or, more recently, navigate the internet. Shopping, exercising and other activities would use up the remaining minutes.

The average 2010 person is one who is constantly multi-tasking, however. Driving a car, eating, working out, bathing and even working a job are no longer done without the accompaniment of some sort of media consumption.

Of course, this is making us crave further stimulation—and is wreaking havoc on our attention spans. It is also making us far less discriminating in what we choose to spend time viewing—as it is no longer a solitary activity.

Enter YouTube.

The platform that has launched the careers of teen sensation Justin Bieber (who was “discovered” after his videos circulated on YouTube) and many others—has proven itself to be the great equalizer—and anyone with a Flipcam or cell phone videocam can distribute their “art” to a worldwide audience.

As such, we are inundated with these videos—many of which are truly entertaining—and many that are only deemed a waste of time after you have….uh….wasted your time.

Here’s one---OK, it’s cute, it’s funny—and it looks like about a half million people have seen it. A chubby baby does an unusual scoot across a tile floor. Check it out:






http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLtsUp5uSUc&feature=topvideos

Ha! Made you look!

Now, there’s 37 seconds of your life that you’ll never get back.

But, that’s OK, because it was the better part of a minute that really belonged to your employer, anyway, no?

It’s not everyday that you see something as riveting as THAT, correct? I hope that I have truly enriched your life today—or at least provided you with a chuckle. That poor child may never do anything in her whole life that gets as much attention as this butt-boogie did when she was an infant.

Let’s hope that’s not the case. Either way, we are fast reaching the point of saturation-where we will only open files and view videos that come from a trusted source. Then, if we have wasted our time, we’ll at least have a target to vent to---and another person to DELETE from our address book!

Hope it won’t be me.

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Mother's Day Gift Ideas

It’s the Friday before Mother’s Day—and without a trip to the Mall, my wife is going to unwrap something like a Lint Brush.

If that happens, you will find me on the couch-ready to discuss what I can do to avoid “sofa exile” in 2011.

Below is a brief video with some gadget ideas for Mom, but there are some universal “no-no’s!” when it comes to Mother’s Day gifts if you are a HUSBAND giving to the Wife/Mother in your life:

1) Anything that says “As Seen On TV!” on the box. Dead giveaway that it is a piece of crap that was purchased at a drug store. Might as well plaster a sign on your forehead that says “As Seen At The Hospital!”

2) Anything that suggests extra work for Mom. There is no amount of gift wrapping that can hide your insensitivity at the “Family Size” bottle of Fabric Softener that’s hidden beneath. Nice.


3) Anything in the “Weight Loss” product category. Purchasing these products as a gift doubles as a death wish.

4) Unless you are a master craftsman, anything you personally make is off limits. Your children can design and build the most hideous and useless items ever conceived—and each will bring a tear to her eye-and will be cherished forever. Your homemade gift, on the other hand, will bring a fist to the eye.

Your eye. And you will have deserved it.

5) If clothing is a must, err on the side of purchasing TOO SMALL a size. Face it-she’s going to exchange it anyway, so it is better to serve up that loser in a size like: Petite. That sweat suit in size XXL is the gifting equivalent of taking the express lane to divorce court.

I don’t really agree with most of the items in this video, but at least it’s not a Swiffer or a Chia Pet:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP7sgSVWthU

Good luck on your shopping—and to all the Moms out there from we insensitive clods you call husbands and sons….Happy Mother’s Day!


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Lesson Of The Hindenburg

It was on this date in 1937 that the largest, fastest and most luxurious flying vessel ever built---went up in flames.

The German airship “Hindenberg” was consumed in a matter of seconds as it arrived in Lakehurst, New Jersey, killing 36 of the roughly 100 people on board.

Captured on film—and immortalized in a live broadcast on Chicago’s WLS Radio, announcer Herbert Morrison’s emotional description of the disaster was heard by thousands as it happened.

Here is a film of the catastrophe, complete with Morrison’s broadcast:




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiAT9xvTVKI

The critical flaw—in hindsight, was glaring.

Namely, even though it was commonly known that helium was far safer than hydrogen, the latter was chosen due to lower cost and the ease of maneuvering when the dirigible was filled with hydrogen.

SEVEN MILLION CUBIC FEET of a highly flammable gas.

The “Hindenberg” was a symbol of Nazi Germany’s national pride. More than 800 feet long, it had a range of 8,000 miles using a state-of-the-art Mercedes-Benz engine. A top speed of 85 miles an hour was possible and the “Hindenberg” had made 10 successful ocean crossings in 1936. Appointed for comfort and luxury, it was a revolutionary—and speedy way—to cross the Atlantic---and, as it turned out—also deadly.

On that fateful day, bad weather forced a later landing than scheduled. When finally cleared to land, the pilot, Captain Max Pruss brought the ship in too fast and had to order a reverse engine thrust. At 7:20pm. A gas leak was noticed-and within minutes, the tail blew up, sending flames hundreds of feet into the air—and as far down as the ground below the ship.

About a thousand spectators felt the heat from a mile away as the entire vessel was consumed instantly. Some aboard tried to jump to the landing ropes meant to moor the ship. Those who missed fell to their death. Others waited until the ship was closer to the ground before jumping. Fifty six passengers survived, but many had broken bones or were critically injured from burns.

A decision made for economic reasons—cost versus safety---a decision most likely made without emotion or thought to the potential for disaster—ended up being a massive catastrophe that set commercial aviation back—and virtually buried the possibilities of “lighter than air” travel. Passengers could not be convinced that a switch to a safer gas was, in fact, safe.

And who could blame them? The impetus to cut costs at the expense of safety had another casualty-----trust. The public no longer believed that their safety was a concern.

As we sift through the wreckage of an oil drilling rig off the U.S. coast and try to discern what went wrong, it’s also likely that a decision made in clinical fashion in some corporate boardroom in order to keep costs down—may be to blame for the failure of backup and contingency systems designed to avert the environmental disaster that we are facing now---and are only at the threshold of dealing with.

Profits.

Important, but never at the cost of the public’s safety. Holding those responsible---criminally liable---may be the only way to make executives aware of the human implications of their accounting decisions.

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Adults Can Stop The Bullying

The recent news of a girl committing suicide after enduring endless bullying has thrust the topic back into the consciousness of America.

The sad reality is that something else will likely take its place soon—and the societal reversal of behavior that needs to occur----won’t.

Part of the problem exists in the attitude that adults have towards bullying. Namely, that while “distasteful” or “unfortunate”, it is a fact of life—and something that must be endured rather than stopped.

This is wrong.

The evidence exists in the most recent news case that school officials were well aware of the taunts and teasing being heaped upon the victim—and that nothing was done. Was it truly a case of “looking the other way”—or simply dismissal based on the frequency of occurrence all over that school’s campus? We won’t likely ever know, but if criminal charges are brought, it will be a sure-fire wake-up call to teachers and administrators nationwide.

View this PSA, meant to call attention to the problem:




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbKBvrEr2wE&feature=related

The rear view mirror to our own childhoods can obscure what happened back then—and what is happening all around us right now. As kids, we were all probably teased, bullied or made fun of at one time or another—and these memories can be painful to recall even as adults. The flip side of the coin also exists. Situations where WE were the ones doing the taunting. Maybe it was to merely “fit in”---or maybe it was to deflect the venom away from ourselves by “piling on” to someone else.

I was both a victim—and a guilty party growing up. And I feel much worse about the latter than the former. While I won’t plead guilty to being a classic “bully”-dammit, I wasn’t big enough!---I will admit to joining in with others on teasing when I had no clue as to whether it was being received good naturedly or was perceived as cruel. The truth is that even mild “teasing” may constitute a traumatic event for the target. Vicious and cruel ongoing bullying has another’s misery as the goal. This is also a common occurance.

Insecurity is at the heart of all bullying behavior anyway. Those who can only feel good about themselves by putting other people down are in need of help. Their own inadequacies find expression in the misery of others who become their targets.

Just as we can deceive ourselves with fantasies about “the good old days”—where family values were more seemingly prominent and oppressed groups like minorities, women and the handicapped (who collectively would challenge the notion) were ignored because their voices were not heard, we must realize that our growth as a society depends on recognizing situations that have, until now, gone unaddressed.

The evolution of human behavior points to positive progress over time. Even though pervasive media exposure and outlets have disseminated every sort of human cruelty and violence as if it were commonplace (it’s not), the fact is that far worse—and frequent abominations existed earlier in our history (without the media to expose them).

Our job, then, as adults—is to be vigilant for examples of bullying—and being ready to step in and modify the behavior ourselves. Of course, this applies to teachers and anyone who works with young people—coaches, counselors and administrators. But it also applies to parents---and any adult who wishes to make a difference.

We are all used to the statement: “Teenage girls can be so cruel!” While it may be true, it is not a foregone conclusion. Catching your daughter in the act of excluding someone or verbally demeaning them is a BULLETIN to address the situation. Watching your son pick on someone is not a situation where a mild approach or lukewarm rebuke is going to make a difference.

Adults must SEIZE these instances of bullying—whatever their degree----and make them a learning experience. I have seen children who, at the risk of being targeted themselves—have gone to the aid of a bullying victim, sticking up for them publicly and exposing the bully for the coward that he/she is. For a young person who craves acceptance by peers, there is perhaps no more courageous act.

Zero tolerance for bullying behavior is the goal—one that we can accomplish, as virtually all instances of bullying occur right out in the open.

I’m no expert—and I’m sure that many resources exist for parents who may need guidance in addressing certain situations. We need only to have to desire to look for them.

For every individual who responds to teasing and bullying with suicide or a final violent outburst that makes headlines, there are probably tens of thousands of people—many of them children---who suffer silently and who are destined to bear the emotional scars for a lifetime.

We have the power to reverse this, one child, one situation at a time.
Are we willing to do so?



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iPad vs. Kindle

Quite a few blogs back, I railed against electronic books, asserting that I would rather have the full “book experience”, the tactile sensations of touching a book, turning pages and feeling the cover in your hands as you navigate the text.

I received a great deal of feedback on that blog---mostly from people who have purchased the Kindle and extol its virtues, not the least of which being the positive environmental byproduct of being able to accomplish the goal (delivering text) without killing trees.

So taken by these responses and the portability of literally carrying around a thousand books in one device, I entertained the notion of buying a Kindle myself. An avid reader, I thought that perhaps my initial judgments had been too harsh.

All of this was before the release of the Apple iPad---and now I have a decision to make.
Which to buy?

Wanting anything I shell out significant dollars for to have the ability to multi-task, it would appear that the iPad has a distinct advantage over the Amazon.com product. After all, it’s color versus black & white—and the Apple wins that battle.

From surfing the web to storing music and videos, it seems that outwardly, they are devices with different missions. That said, Amazon is still quaking in its boots, fearful that Apple will turn the Kindle into the next Betamax---irrelevant.

Here’s a quick comparative video in case you too are curious about which is better to buy:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoMo4BcvPbA

Sandra Harris, 94.9 WHOM’s midday DJ allowed me to test drive her husband’s brand new iPad. I must admit that it was wildly fun—and perhaps this is the future of the PC—a portable device that’s bigger than a smartphone—and versatile enough to handle the demands of business or pleasure without lugging a laptop around.

I am loathe to buy the first version of anything, thinking that the techno geeks that must have all the new devices FIRST will be the human guinea pigs who take it through its paces and expose its flaws. Only after this extensive real-life workout will the Apple engineers have the feedback they need to improve the next model.

I’m the guy who buys the second or third version. The engineers in charge of Kindle may also realize that complete reinvention may be called for in order to compete with the iPad. The battle against the Sony Reader is largely OVER. Market share as a measuring stick says that Amazon has already vanquished the Sony product.

Apple’s vast array of applications or “apps” appear to be the real battle ground. There is even a “Kindle App” to use the Kindle technology on the Apple device.

If you have either---or both????, I would be much obliged if you were to weigh in on your experience with these amazing gadgets!

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The Fastest Two Minutes Is The Longest Ninety

Is it just me—or is watching the Kentucky Derby on TV getting more and more difficult to endure?

I understand that in order to bring us the “fastest two minutes in sport”, NBC has to build a longer show around this brief but exciting mile and a quarter. How about a 30 minute program? If not mistaken, this year’s race consumed at least an hour and a half.

If you missed the whole show, good for you! Here’s the race itself with post race stuff, too:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYUQhefukU4

The formula is largely the same every year.

The network spends an inordinate amount of time showcasing the owners, people with whom average Americans have little in common with. These blue bloods are flushing bucket loads of cash into these animals. Forgive us if we aren’t sympathetic to their trials and tribulations about not winning the “big one”. None of them are using food stamps to buy the caviar, although they may be cutting back to only five or six times a week. My heart goes out to them. Do you have any idea how much gas a LIMO uses in an average week?

I did like the horse that was purchased for $10 grand and owned by about 25 ordinary Joes. Now THERE’S a horse to root for! Sorry it didn’t win. Not sorry that Joe Torre’s nag didn’t win, however. Sorry Joe, once a Yankee, always a Yankee.

After the owners, then we hear about the trainers. No..wait….before the trainers, we hear all about Yum! Brands, the corporate sponsor whose logo is plastered over everything but the hooves of the horses. Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken (“KFC” because they are downplaying the FRIED part of their name), Long John Silvers…..what else? Anyway, they sell FOOD in restaurants around the world. We’re hoping that no one makes the connection between the burrito filling and….horsemeat.

But I digress.

Perhaps my favorite part is the view in the stands—the ladies in their huge, ugly hats and parasols—a definite caste system when compared to the throngs of people sucking multiple mint juleps in the infield. That’s where I was.

While a student at Ohio State in the 70’s, we made the trek to the Kentucky Derby twice. Our tickets were strictly for the infield, where a ramp led us (like horses) under the track to the segregated infield section.

I’m not sure I ever saw a horse the first time I was there. Really.

The Derby is like, the TENTH race of the day. Both years I was there, it was hot, humid and we college kids believed strongly that drinking heavily was the ideal solution to staying cool in the heat. Souvenir glasses of the Derby, filled with Kentucky bourbon (and little else), insured that many of us were not conscious by the time the Derby was run.

We were not allowed to mingle with the “society people” in the Grandstand. What little money we had left over after purchasing beverages went toward betting on horses, as there were ticket windows in the infield, further insuring that those of us in steerage would not come in contact with the beautiful people on the other side. In much the same way that matter and anti-matter are kept apart in sci-fi films, there was a feeling that calamity would ensue if a woman on OUR side in a halter top were to come face to face with a woman on the OTHER side wearing a hat the size of Nebraska.

At ground level, I can tell you that—using my second trip (where I actually did see horses, if only as a blur going by), those critters can RUN. It is much faster than anything a TV aerial view can convey. How the announcer can keep them straight while calling the race is beyond me.

Nonetheless, being there from ten in the morning and staggering out at 7pm or so still seems shorter than watching the race on TV. Even Bob Costas seems bored.

One way to make it more palatable would be to show the previous year’s races in their entirety. I could watch Secretariat’s record-setting race every year. What better way to display the history of the event than by showing it’s “greatest hits” each year? And while we’re at it, let’s stop giving the horse human traits that stretch the limits of believability.

It’s one thing to say “he’s a great athlete”, but entirely another to say “he has the heart of a champion” or “he has a great attitude going around the last turn”—or worst yet, “he really has a will to win!”

Huh?

No, some horses are faster than others—and all of them have a guy on their back whipping their humongous horse’s asses with a whip. There’s your “will to win”.

As Jerry Seinfeld says, “it’s the same oat bag for everyone at the finish line”. That is, the exact same reward unless of course you break a leg.

If that happens, you get shot. If the horses REALLY knew what was going on, they’d be doing some pretty careful steppin’ around that track, as Jerry says.

Same oat bag.

NBC’s “oat bag” is currently tied to Yum! Brands. It might be a good idea to re-evaluate the whole Derby show to make it watchable for an entire hour or 90 minutes.

Watching the upper crust ladies sing "My Old Kentucky Home" is simply not "must-see TV".

If you’d like my blog in your weekday box, just let me know: tim.moore@citcomm.com