Go Ahead And Grope Me

How soon we forget.

In the immediate aftermath of the 2001 terrorist attack, my guess is that the majority of Americans would proudly walk naked onto an airplane rather than risk being a passenger on a flight commandeered by murderers.

Fast-forward nine years and now the furor is over the body scanners and TSA personnel pat-downs that violate our “rights”. What is meant to protect us is now the fodder for late-night talk show jokes , YouTube videos and blogosphere hysteria.

America, get over it.

First of all, you don’t have a “right” to fly commercial airlines. If you are offended, embarrassed or feel violated by the screening procedures, then go ahead and drive. This country cannot simultaneously protect us and keep intact all intrusions of our person. Frankly, I’m more concerned about the safety of the machines themselves. If there is even a hint of radiation dangers, then I propose that we suspend their use immediately. As you can see, my opposition has nothing to do with our “rights”.

The minute that someone boards a plane with a bomb in his or her sneakers or in their UNDERWEAR, the game has changed.

Here’s the “don’t touch my junk” cellphone video that has caused much of the stir:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3lbnSLalWQ&feature=related


I can understand the man’s position—as he seemed cooperative—until his one statement caused TSA officials to withhold his progression through the security check. Made as a threat, this passenger made the mistake of not choosing his words carefully in what is a tense situation for everyone involved.

That said, I am not entirely pleased with the current TSA screening procedures or the political correctness that goes hand-in-hand with them. Were I in charge of TSA security, I would institute the following procedures:

1) EVERYONE gets a pat-down and a once over with a wand. No more charges of “profiling” please—although that’s not my reason. It is a plain and simple fact that virtually all terrorist attacks both in the U.S. and abroad have been perpetrated by young men of Middle East descent. To avoid checking out EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM out of concerns for profiling is INSANITY. Passing over a Middle-Eastern man to scan a nun or elderly woman is ludicrous. I advocate that everyone go through the exact same procedure—with more extensive and thorough examination for individuals who either fit the “terrorist profile” (a factual reality) or are deemed suspicious based on their behavior.

2) KEEP THE SHOES ON. If everyone gets the once-over, it will take longer, but a hand-held scanning device can reduce the delay by allowing passengers to leave their shoes—and for that matter, jackets and sweaters on.

3) PASSPORTS FOR ALL- Everyone needs one to get on a plane—and travel history is displayed to detect unusual activity, destinations or one-way extended stays.

4) MARSHALL ON EVERY FLIGHT- Expensive? Maybe, but I see enough idle TSA employees to shift the cost to highly trained and armed U.S. Marshals, whose mere presence would be a deterrent.

5) FAILSAFE COCKPIT LOCKOUT—Useless if the objective is to simply blow up the plane, but a lockout mechanism that prevents a terrorist from gaining access to the cockpit would ensure that no airliner could be used in the manner that destroyed the World Trade Center and damaged the Pentagon on 9/11/2001

6) LOSE THE BAGGIE- Let the x-ray machine see the bottles packed and if there is suspicion over any of it, a more detailed examination can result. There is nothing magical about 4 oz. More goods have been trashed unnecessarily (and time wasted) by passengers trying to board with 8oz of highly dangerous SHAMPOO. Just as the specs for pen-knives have relaxed, this too should go away.


Not all-inclusive, but a start.

I want to fly safe. I want my family to be safe. This desire trumps my inclination to avoid a pat-down.

Feel me up.
Just get me there in one piece.

If you’d like my blog in your box, just let me know: tim.moore@citcomm.com