Santa Needs Help Sometimes

Completely unbeknownst to my daily afternoon audience yesterday, I did a good part of the show as Santa Claus, complete with jolly red suit, beard and boots.

Why, you ask?

Well, it was the Citadel Broadcasting of Portland Holiday Party (see YESTERDAY’S blog on office Christmas parties)-and unlike years past, when it was strictly an adult affair with lots of cocktails, this year, we decided to make it a family affair, right down to the kiddies. And what is a kids Christmas party without a visit from Santa?

The trick of course, was to not miss a break on the radio while fulfilling my Clausly Duties in the WHOM Conference Room, the scene of the mayhem

I must say up front that the REAL Santa is busy right now, assembling Nintendos and plasma screen TVs at the North Pole. My job was to be a reasonable facsimile for the sake of the little ones. My 8 year old Kevin was made aware of this-and enthusiastically volunteered to be Santa’s helper. Of course, he was indispensable, from helping old Santa climb into his Deluxe Santa Suit from Marden’s to basically leading the Jolly Elf from one place to another..once the beard and wig and glasses are on, Santa is blind as a bat.

Luckily, no disasters yesterday. I “Ho-Ho-Ho’ed” my way through a sack of goodies-and perhaps because the kids had a not-so-healthy sugar headstart with snacks, there was none of the Santa-phobia that anyone who has ever stuffed himself into the felt suit has experienced. In fact, the kids nearly tackled me. Between the gentle “Santa loves you” greetings directed at the youngsters to the “slightly PG-13” comments made for the benefit of the adults, it was clear that Santa didn’t frighten anyone. Whew!

Aside from having my Santa laugh compared to that of Herman Munster (which, as it turns out was 100% accurate), my guess is that most of the grownups were too busy eating, drinking and making sure their kids didn’t get stiffed by Saint Nick in the gift department to take much notice of the many imperfections of the appearance.

There really is something that happens once that suit goes on…truly. I can’t explain it, but it SO real that you have to experience it to appreciate it fully. If transporting yourself into the “Christmas mood” is difficult-and 94.9 WHOM’s continuous holiday music doesn’t do the trick…I suggest playing Santa.

Guaranteed to work.

Hurry, there’s ONE Santa Suit left at Marden’s---an absolute STEAL at $69.95!