Office Christmas Parties

There should be a book written about office Christmas parties. Nowhere else are your co-workers so defined forever in the minds of their colleagues than at the annual festive gathering. More careers are lost here than even the summer company picnic.

Eggnog is the culprit. So, too, are all of its alcoholic cousins, turning what we all thought were well-behaved coworkers into rear-end pinching, dirty joke telling, lampshade wearing fools.

What better time to tell the boss what a jerk he or she is than at the company Christmas party? Of course, it isn’t done OVERTLY. It comes in the form of alcohol-induced sarcasm and “humor” aimed at the group in general. Only problem is that the only person laughing is the boss’s spouse (and that REALLY isn’t good)-and you-until you see the blank stares returned following your “killer” punchline.

God help you if there is a “Yankee Swap” or other lame excuse for gift giving. It doesn’t matter that you purchased a nice desk set for someone else’s delight. The lingering memory will be the one of YOU unwrapping the gigantic vibrator-or other adult sex toy (“hey, it’s just a JOKE!”)

Some parties are compulsory. If a bonus is given at your holiday party, it might as well be. People show up to grab the goodies and then scram. Of course, if your company has a reputation for giving you, say, a HAM for Christmas…you might decide to insure your career by NOT attending and just get your own ham.

The only advice to give is….DON’T DRINK…and if you must drink, have ONE….and nurse it all night. Staying employed is tough enough in this economy without you contributing to your own demise by acting like an imbecile!

Merry Christmas!